Moving forward

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing!" Isaiah 43: 18-19
"Moving forward" is a favorite phrase of someone I know. I'm not always glad to hear it used. It usually signals the end of the discussion. Forget the former things sounds the same to me. End of discussion. God is telling me it's not to be discussed, debated, tossed around anymore. Do not dwell on it. Stop feeling guilty about it. Stop taking it back to ponder. Let it go. I'm not sure I'm glad to hear this. I have to remember; go forward without the guilt and try. One step at a time.

Wine engulfs me

"Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold. I have come into the deep waters; the floods engulf me, I am worn out calling for help..." Psalm 69:1-3
I dream about water. It closes in around my car. It comes up over the bridge I am on. I can't go forward. I can't get home. I drive in circles. I try to go around it. I open the door to the basement. Water is rising. I shut the door. I try to get away from it. I'm on a boat. I'm trying to get to dry land. I'm afraid. Water. Water. Water.  Or is it wine? Deep water. Deep trouble? Fear. I wake. I pray. I call for help. I try to go around it. I try to get away from it. It engulfs me. I am worn out.

Just Write

Evil wine

"As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do..." 1 Peter 2:14-15
Can something so acceptable be evil? Wine? Evil? Even Jesus turns water to wine!

Life's direction

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life; and only a few find it." Matthew 7:13-14
Each day I am pleasantly surprised by these passages and how they speak to me. Simply stated directions for changing life. Living life.

Free flowing wine

"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit..." Romans 14:17
I notice the wine in TV shows and commercials. Red wine. Large glasses. Poured freely. Open bottles on the table. Friends and family gathered around. Laughing. Smiling. No drama. No drunks.
I saw a show recently that was about addiction. Not to alcohol but prescription drugs. During the show the addict questioned a friend's bottle of wine a night. The friend was offended.

Peaceful and quiet life

"I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers and intercession and thanksgiving be for made for everyone-...that we may live peaceful and quiet lives..." 1 Timothy 2:1-2
I long for peace. What must that be like? Most often when I pour a glass of wine, it is to distance myself from the unpeacefulness of another's drinking. I pray for this to be a day where peace finds me, a day that I don't need to look for it.

Just begin

"...let your light shine..." Matthew 5:16
Just let your light shine. I can do that. One simple step. I'm taking steps. Praying, reading, writing. One step at a time.
"All glory comes from daring to begin" Eugene F. Ware

Turn it over

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" 1 Peter 5:7
Last night I woke for my usual anxiety attack. I have friends who have told me of their same panic stricken, heart racing, body sweating mid night sessions. The hour or 2 or more of  head spinning with whys and what ifs and what didn't I get done yet dialogue. Not last night, not for me. I said "no more". I took a deep breath and turned it over to God. Then I took another deep breath and went back to sleep. When I woke up this morning I prayed, "please don't let me take it back!"

Joy

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

I woke this morning filled with joy and strength. I feel good. I feel happy. Amazing what a good night's sleep will do.

The good way

...Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, "we will not walk in it." Jeremiah 6:16

So simple, so clear. I know where the good way is. I want rest for my soul. Each morning I say today I will walk in it.

Plans? Prosper? Me?

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future... " Jeremiah 29:11
I wonder what plans? I want desperately for today to be a day that doesn't end with a glass of wine or 2. 

Another one for the day, from Courage To Change: "I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving" Oliver Wendell Holmes

Cry Aloud?!

"I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him  I tell my trouble." Psalm 142:1-2
I think -I do this, does it bring me mercy? Has my complaint been heard? I go back and reread. I don't do this. I don't cry "aloud."

But you would have none of it...

"In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it." Isaiah 30:15
Do I ask for help? Do I pray? Do I turn it over? Do I reach my hands out? Not enough. Too often I will -have none of it. Do I trust my life to him? Do I pour a glass of wine instead?

Go in peace

Then the woman knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet...He said to her "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."  Mark 5:33 & 34

I want peace. I read the famous Redbook article. I relate to the comment one Mom made about being on a hamster wheel and not knowing how to stop. For me a glass of wine each night begins the slowdown. Then another. I can climb off the wheel. But maybe I need to find another way to cope. Or maybe I am just normal because I can't cope?